


Your cowardice made us the monsters we are

by ChopinWorshipper



Category: Norse Religion & Lore
Genre: Angst, Gen, hel's unfunny sense of humour, loki and his kids are really bitter and hurt, the aesir are the biggest dicks, written from the pov of loki's family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:40:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24152953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChopinWorshipper/pseuds/ChopinWorshipper
Summary: A little drabble from the POV of Loki and his children from their banishment/imprisonment until Ragnarök.
Relationships: Angrboða | Angerboda/Loki (mentioned), Baldr | Baldur/Hel | Hela (mentioned), Loki/Sigyn (Mentioned)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 26





	Your cowardice made us the monsters we are

**Loki** :

My blood brother, do you remember?  
When in ancient times you and me mixed our blood and swore sacred oaths?  
You had just been betrayed, a lonely leader of a family which had banished you.  
And I was on the run from an abusive kin.  
We met after you gained the runes and gave your eye to drink from the well, but before you knew the prophecy.  
You knew not as much as you do now.  
Do you remember?  
You were wandering through the worlds and had nowhere to go.  
You were alone.  
Just like me.  
Do you remember?  
I saved your life.  
You had just sacrificed your eye and hung yourself from Yggdrasil.  
You, the first of the Aesir, looked at me, a fire giant too small-framed for his kind, and you smiled.  
I offered you to become your brother. I told you that I wouldn't abandon you.  
We mixed our blood and became siblings, not by blood but by oath.  
Do you remember?  
We made so many promises to each other.  
We promised to be brothers, to be a family.  
To share meal and drink.  
To support each other in battle.  
To share our knowledge with the other.  
To share each other's joys and woes.  
And so many other things, that are meaningless now.  
But there was one promise more.  
Do you remember?  
I do.  
You promised that my children would be yours as well. I promised the same.  
I remember.  
But you have forgotten, haven't you?  
I remember what happened then.  
You went to Helheimr, to seek the advice of a long dead Völva. I waited for you at the gates of the land of the dead.  
You came back, paler than a ghost. The prophecy of the Völva shook you to the core, didn't it?  
You got all the knowledge that you have now. But was it really worth it?  
I didn't know what you had seen or heard, but I saw how shaken you were. So I comforted you and told you stories to cheer you up. I have always been good at that.   
You were so grateful.  
But now you're not grateful anymore, are you?   
You don't even remember what gratitude is. You have forgotten that, just like your promise that you would accept my children.  
You didn't accept them at all.  
Especially not my children by my beloved Angrboða. So what if they don't look like you Aesir? They're beautiful nonetheless.  
My oldest son, Fenrir.  
He is the wolf of wolves.  
He has my eyes and voice, my wit, magic and temper. When he takes his human form, you can see that he also has my freckles and ears. His blond hair and his strength are his mother's. But as a wolf, he has fluffy black and red fur. His teeth are almost as big as me.  
Fenrir is half as tall as the mountains of Utgard by now. But he will always be my little puppy.  
My second son, Jörmungandr, only ten seconds younger than Fenrir.  
He is the biggest snake the world has ever seen. He is so big that he encircles Midgard, so everyone calls him the Midgard Serpent.  
He has my eyes and hair and my intelligence, everything else he got from his mother. In his human form he's tall and lean like his mother. Fitting, in his animal form he's a very long snake after all. In his snake form his eyes are red, like my hair, and his scales are green, like my eyes. When the sun shines upon them, they shine so beautifully. When we were torn apart, his head was as high as my legs. Now, according to Thor, his pupils are bigger than an oak. But he is still my little Jörmi.  
My only daughter, Hel.  
Hers is the underworld, she is its queen. Inside her dwells the ancient, unhallowed and boundless power of the netherworld.  
She is neither dead nor alive. She is just Hel. She has hair of two colours. On her right side, it's silver blonde, like her mother's. On her left side, it's black. The right side of her face is rosy, fair enough to rival Freyja's. The left side of her face is dark from decay. Normally, that is. If she's angry, it turns skeletal, if she's happy, the left half of her face is as fair as the right half. She has my intellect, cunning and humour, but other than that, she is every bit her mother.  
But none of this matters to me. She is my beautiful little girl, my sunshine, and she always will be.  
And then there is Sleipnir, my middle child.  
Sadly, I'm not his father, but his mother. I gave him to you, because I hoped that it would save him from suffering the fate his older siblings had. Well, at least that worked out. Using my son as your steed, because he's an eight-legged, talking horse is just fine with you, huh?  
But you didn't treat my children with your daughter Sigyn any better, oh no. Even though they were Aesir, like you!  
My youngest twin sons, Nari and Narfi.  
They are-no, _were_ their mother's spitting image. Black, starry curls, a small but strong frame. Safe for the green eyes that were mine. And they had my magic. I … I didn't even get to see what they would have been like, had they lived into adulthood.  
And look what you did their mothers!  
Angrboða, the Lady of Járnvidr, the greatest of witches.  
At least she didn't have to see what became of our children. She probably got the most merciful ending in our family. You hated her, because she refused to share her wisdom and her dark magic with you. But to me, she was the first woman I ever truly loved.  
The second one is Sigyn, the wonderful, boundlessly loyal, hot-headed tomboy at my side.  
I can't even remember how many tantrums she has thrown because of me. But no matter how angry she was at me, she was always there, standing up for me, even when everyone turned against me. Even now, after everything I have done, she's still here. This petite goddess is stronger than all of you.  
Angrboða is dead, you killed her.  
Fenrir is bound, chained through magic and your perjury. The magical chains cut into his flesh and you stuffed a fucking sword into his mouth so he can't bite you.  
You banished Jörmungandr into the ocean that encircles Midgard, threw him into it like a broken doll. It's cold in there, too. Not fit for a snake, no matter how big my son is.  
Hel is all alone in the underworld. Well, she is not alone. She has her subjects and her servants. But she can never see her family and we can't see her.  
Sleipnir is the only one you treat well, because he's useful to you.  
You turned Nari into a wolf and made him tear apart his own brother. Then you killed him.  
And Narfi didn't even get a proper burial. No. His guts are what my chains are made of.  
I've been chained to these fucking rocks with the entrails of my own son, for … how long? I don't even remember. Hard to tell, it's always dark in this cave.   
A few metres above my head, a snake is bound and her acidic venom drops onto my face, no thanks to Skadi. Fucking whore.  
It hurts like a bitch, when the venom hits my face, it burns my skin.  
But Sigyn is here, holding a bowl over my head, keeping the poison from dropping onto my face. She suffers so much, deserving none of it. My poor, dear Sigyn.   
You made her watch, as her sons were killed and I was bound with the guts of one of them. You told her that everything happening was my fault.  
I admit, part of this is true.  
But let me tell you this, I'm not sorry for killing your precious Baldr. Or for framing his twin, which lead to him getting killed as well.  
I was jealous of them, both of them, I'm not ashamed of admitting it.  
I hated Baldr because you loved him for being sweet, innocent and beautiful, while you scorned my dear children for not being like that. Everyone praised him, looked up to him, when he hardly did anything to deserve that! It was _me_ who did all the work for you! Not him! _Me_! And _he_ got all the love and attention! And do you know what I hated most about your third youngest son? That he didn't become a conceited and arrogant prick over it. On the contrary, he hated it! I saw it in his eyes. And you didn't even know, being the superficial bastard you are. You just saw the pretty boy. Only his blind twin and I saw the miserable wretch he truly was.  
I hated Höðr, because you loved him for being so content with living in Baldr's shadow (literally, because he was the god of darkness and winter). He was the only person your beloved Baldr truly cared about, aside from his own child, of course. But most of all I hated him for being so much like you. He was much kinder and more sensible, but he was your spitting image. Even his gloomy, calm and aloof demeanor was just like yours. Just looking at him reminded me of you. I hated it.   
To cut it short, I hated them, because they were your children and because you loved them.  
Before I murdered Baldr, he and I had a little talk. You don't know, but he knew that I would be his murderer. You'd be surprised at how casual he was about it, after making such a fuss about his nightmares. He wasn't even resentful towards me. He smiled and still called me 'Uncle'. It was unbearable.  
And I realised something that terrified me: As much as I envied him and his brother, I loved them as well. I realised that I was becoming something like a surrogate father to them. I couldn't allow that to happen. I should hate them for being your sons.  
They didn't deserve to die, but I had to cause their deaths. I had to get them killed, before they could become like you.  
Baldr and Höðr were too good for you anyway. And my daughter Hel will take good care to keep them that way.  
There is no doubt, she is better for them than you are, much better. You don't deserve them.  
You took away from me what I held dearest. So I did the same to you.  
When you bound me, you asked me if we were even.  
I laughed at you.  
I told you that to get even, I would have had to kill Þórr, Viðarr and Hermódr as well.  
You told me that I never would have accomplished that.  
I laughed again. Told you not to underestimate me.  
But the truth is - I could never bring myself to kill Þórr. I've grown too attached to him. That's why my son Jörmungandr will do it. He has open business with him anyway. Both of them will die. Will I cry for Þórr as well as for Jörmi? I don't know.  
I would love to kill you myself, my dear blood brother, but my son Fenrir has already called dibs.  
He will kill Týr _and_ you.  
I will laugh, as he devours you. I will weep as Viðarr avenges you and kills my eldest child.  
Will Sleipnir survive? I hope so. He doesn't deserve to die. But then again, when have the Norns ever cared about that.  
And then I will turn to the person who has always despised me, my dear nemesis.  
The relationship between me and Heimdallr is so complicated, you would never understand it.  
There is a strange freedom in trusting the enemy.  
We will kill each other.  
And we will meet again, in Helheimr, where my daughter waits for her brothers and me.  
I remember the jokes and games we used to make about it.  
Kind of like you and me when we were young.  
When we became blood brothers, you had that mischievous glint in your eye, much like myself. There was a warmth and integrity in your smile that made me believe everything you said, even when I knew that you were lying.  
Now all of this is gone.  
You hate me.  
But that's alright, because I hate you too.  
You call us monsters, my children and me.  
That's true.  
But it was your cowardice that made us the monsters we are now.  
See you at Ragnarök.  
See you in Hel.  
I will never forgive you, Óðinn.  
Never.

**Fenrir** :

I trusted you.  
I was apprehensive after you had taken me away from my mother, but I trusted you.  
When we were brought to Asgard, you were the one who took care of me, when dad couldn't do it.  
I respected you.  
You were the only one brave enough.   
Brave enough to spend time with me.  
Brave enough to come near me.  
Brave enough to be fond of me.  
Do you remember, how you used to play with me?  
How you used to pet me and stroke my fur?  
How you and your wife spent entire days trying to clean it?  
I remember the smiles on your face, the laughter in your eyes.  
I remember how you were only one of three gods in Asgard who were allowed to call me "puppy" (the other two being dad and Sigyn).  
You used to play fetch with me, not with small sticks, that'd be ridiculous, you tore small trees out and used them as sticks. Hey, I'm a huge wolf, gimme a break!  
I looked up to you, like one would look up to a surrogate father.  
In a way you were mine, because dad was often busy.  
One day I turned into a human, just for you and dad. It was your birthday. I turned human, because making a gift is hard when you're a giant wolf.  
You were happy and you ruffled my blond head, while dad fawned over how cute I was. Kinda odd that I'm a blond, considering that my fur is black.   
Even my siblings liked you. You didn't mind when Jörmi snaked around your legs and you could look at Hel without cringing at the left side of her face, which is something only me, Jörmi, dad and Sigyn could do.  
Those were happy times. For a while I forgot that you and the other Aesir had taken us away from our mother.  
But then came that one time dad went on a particularly long journey for old man Óðinn.  
One day, I noticed that my little brother Jörmungandr and my little sister Hel had gone missing.   
I asked you about it. You said that you didn't know where they were. I noticed that glint of sadness and guilt in your eyes, but I was still a naive child and I trusted you.  
A few days later, you finally told me that Odin had sent Jörmungandr to the sea around Midgard, because he was growing too big for Asgard. As for my sister Hel, she was going to rule a world of her own. You didn't say that it was Niflheim and I, in my childish naiveté, thought of her being a princess with pretty clothes and lots of servants who would read every wish from her lips and one day I would be her bodyguard and protect her, because I'm her strong, big brother.  
You said sure, everyone who'd want to harm Hel would be scared away by my size and strength and I would be her hero.  
It makes my heart bleed to remember that.  
Looking back, I know why you lied. I was still a child, still a puppy. I wasn't ready to face the cruelty of the world.  
But a few weeks later, Óðinn accompanied you. I winced at the cold gaze in his grey eye.  
He said that I was growing too big for Asgard and that I would be moved to an island that was far away. I didn't understand most of it, but I did realise that it meant that I would have to move away from you and that I wouldn't be able to visit you, dad, Sigyn and my new baby brothers.  
I begged him to let me stay, I would be a good boy and do all kinds of things for the gods, just like my dad.  
He said no.  
At least I got to say goodbye to Sigyn and the kids, before I was moved to an island that was more than big enough to hold me and give me all the room I wanted.  
Said island was called Yngvi and was located in the middle of a lake named Amsvartnir, which itself happened to be in Niflheim. Yeah.  
I was alone there for weeks, until you and the other gods came back.  
You brought chains. Big, heavy chains. Óðinn told me that this was a game and that I would be famed for my strength, if I could break them.  
I was young. Still naiv, only a teen at this point. And man, did I ever want to prove myself? You bet!  
By this time I was already twice as big as Thor and probably twice as strong as well.  
I shattered the chains with ease and rejoiced.  
A few weeks you gods came back with even bigger, heavier chains. Ódinn suggested playing the game again.  
I looked at the heavy iron chains and thought for a moment. They were stronger than the last ones, but then again, I had experienced another growth spurt during the past weeks, and I had confidence in my strength. So I allowed them to bind me again.  
Breaking these was a little harder, but still easy. I quickly shook them off.  
But I noticed something strange. None of the gods seemed to be happy for me, not even you. That got me thinking.  
Next time you came back, years had passed and I was growing HUGE!!!  
What you showed me this time made me blink. A thin, hardly visible golden band that looked like it was made of silk.  
A silken band after two heavy chains?  
Now that was fishy.  
But they taunted me, questioned my courage and I didn't want to lose my pride and reputation.  
So I agreed to let them bind me, but only under one condition: one of them would have to place his right hand in my mouth, if they tricked me, I'd bite it off.  
They hesitated.  
Now it was my turn to taunt them. After all, if they were playing fair, they didn't have to fear for their hand, right? Right.  
In the end, you stepped forward.  
Again, you were the only one brave enough.  
But you had tears in your eyes. They were full of sorrow. It terrified me.  
They bound me and, just as expected, I couldn't break them. The gods didn't free me. They laughed.  
Except for you.  
Partly because you were feeling guilty for betraying me (yes, I could tell from the look on your face), but mainly because I bit your hand off.  
You didn't scream. You didn't shed a tear. You didn't even flinch. You just looked at me unhappily.  
And I hated you in that moment.  
Hated you, because despite loving me, you still managed to betray me, to put these false gods over everything else.  
I thought that it was your fault that I was bound, a prisoner.  
Now I know that it wasn't your fault.  
It was all Óðinn's fault, for being such a fucking coward.  
But I'm still angry at you.  
I was an innocent child, until you made me a monster.  
I will kill you, Týr.  
And when I have done that, I will kill Óðinn, that one-eyed piece of shit.  
 ****

**Jörmungandr:**  
These Aesir are all pieces of crap.  
I mean, what did my siblings and I do to deserve this?  
First Odin throws me into the sea, like I'm some broken doll that a girl throws away.  
Then he sends my sister to the netherworld, literally.  
And as if that wasn't bad enough, they fool my brother Fen into thinking that they like him, only to betray him and bind him like he's a madman in need of confinement.  
Oh, and according to Fenrir, they have also bound our father and are torturing him for killing Baldr.  
And to add insult to injury, they killed our little brothers and bound dad with the entrails of one of them.  
Those disgusting trash bags.  
Why did they - no, why did _Óðinn_ do all this?  
Why does he do this to us?  
We were just children, not normal, but still children.  
And if he had bothered to actually get to know us, he would have realised that Fenrir and I can be human too (and devilishly handsome ones too, if I may say so). Hel can look like the other girls too, if she tries hard enough. Heck, she could surpass that wench Freyja in beauty any day!  
But nooo, he was so appalled by what we really look like, that we were promptly banished.  
He fucking threw me into an ocean, I still can't believe it, after so many thousand years!  
I hate this place. It's cold and dark and with me being a snake, that doesn't go well together. I turn into a human very often, just to get into the warm sun and enjoy a little bit of freedom. Otherwise I'd always be stiff and have cramps. And don't even get me started on how there's not enough food for a snake of my size in this dirty puddle.  
Gha.  
It's also very lonely here. I'm the only one of my kind and since my family can't visit me, I have no one to talk to. Before dad was bound, he and Sigyn used to sneak away to visit sometimes.  
I remember that one time, after we were imprisoned, when she visited me in my exile and asked me for a token to give to my father as a means of comfort. Of course it was the middle of the night and yes, she totally had "borrowed" Sleipnir from Óðinn. I told her to pick one of my smallest scales. I heard from Hel that the Asýnja came to her and Fen as well, with the same request. The next time my father managed to sneak away (I wonder why Heimdallr tolerated this), I noticed that he was wearing a necklace with the scale Sigyn had taken from me, a tooth from Fenrir and a yellow and black curl from Hel's hair.  
I love my step-mother.   
If anyone is worthy of following in my mother's footsteps, it's her. She is the only decent person in Asgard, if you ask me. Well, at least the only decent one I know.  
She didn't care that we were two huge animals and a half-dead girl.  
She spoiled us anyway. Like we were her own kids.   
And I don't even know how old she is or when her birthday is.  
That's kind of sad.  
I never got around to ask her, no thanks to Óðinn. I can't believe that she's actually his daughter. I mean, she looks nothing like him! Sure, she's black-haired, but she's tiny, her eyes are dark blue and she has stars in her hair! How amazing is that! We always called her Sigyn of the starry hair. I swear, she must be a daughter of Nótt or something like that!  
She gets angry and yells a lot (mostly at dad and the other Aesir), but she has a good heart.  
Sadly, she's the only one I know up there of whom that can be said.  
I mean, isn't that what the Midgardians about Þórr as well?  
Hah!  
How am I supposed to see the good in someone who took me and my siblings away from our home and mother?  
And speaking of him - I still have that scar on my head, where that bastard bashed my skull in.  
Seriously, what did I ever do to him?!  
I mean, get this!  
I'm swimming around, minding my own business, when suddenly something gets caught in my mouth, that tastes like beef. And when I come to the surface to see where it came from, something comes flying at me and then I feel this infernal pain on my head! I feel dizzy for a moment, before my sight clears and I recognise Þórr in a little boat, about to swing his hammer again. There is a Jötunn next to him, pale as a corpse. Come on, I don't look that frightening! Just because I'm a giant snake!   
But back to Þórr, that bastard. That Asa actually bashed my head with this hammer! If I wasn't so huge, that blow would have killed me!  
Needless to say, I immediately dived under and refused to come back up. Good riddance, jackass!  
By the Norns, I hope that dad gave him a good ol' lecture, when he came home!  
Hmph.  
Trying to kill me for no reason, really.  
Just wait until Ragnarök, Þórr!  
Then _I_ will kill _you_!  
And I will do it for a reason.  
Yes, I will kill him and as many Aesir as I can, if it's the last thing I do.  
I know, it will be.  
But I still want my revenge before I die.

**Hel:**

Cheer up, you said.  
You're going to be a queen, you said.  
With a fancy golden crown on your head and pretty dresses, you said.  
You're going to have a kingdom, a castle, servants, subjects and riches beyond imagination, just for yourself, you said.  
Your family will come to visit you a lot, you said.  
You're going to like it there, you said.  
It'll be fun and pretty, you said.  
Lo!  
Here I am, in this cold, cold world full of dead people. The sun never shines here. When I leave my castle, it's hard to see my own hand in front of my eyes, that's how thick the fog is. And of course, my only conversation partners are the souls of the dead and my two old hand servants, Ganglot and Ganglati.  
"Fun and pretty", huh?  
You Aesir say a lot, when the days are long, don't you?  
And you know what the funniest thing is?  
I actually _do_ like it here.  
Hah! Take that, morons!  
The dead have so many stories to tell and reading their souls, when they come in front of my throne, is way more entertaining than any book could ever be. They're not repulsed by my half-dead, half-alive visage. No, they worship me, they adore me!  
Ganglot and Ganglati are old and slow in their work, but they are special, very special indeed.  
Sure, the sun never shines here, but my world has a sun of its own - the underworld sun is like a huge black light. Pretty cool, huh? And inside, the souls of the stillborn provide a brighter light than that precious upperworld sun ever could. Bright to me, that is. But they wouldn't understand that.  
It's quiet here, not like noisy Asgard, but it's a nice kind of quiet.  
Little does Óðinn know that I'm wiser than him. I possess the knowledge of all who lived.  
Óðinn gathers many warriors in his hall but manier come to mine.  
But that doesn't make me any less upset.  
I can't believe that you _lied_ to me.  
I can't believe that you took my family away, which was the most important thing in the world for me. Don't you Aesir know that family is the greatest, most powerful treasure a child can have? That nothing is stronger than familiar bonds? Aren't you such a tight-knit group?  
You despise us and our father.  
We're not like you, you say.  
As if you're ones to talk!  
How many other races is the community of the Aesir composed of! Jötnar, Vanir, Álfar, Midgardian…  
But you hate us because we're not as pretty as you. Do you even know how subjective beauty is? No, you're too superficial for that.  
My brother Fenrir is a giant wolf. No one looks more majestic than he does in his wolf form.  
Jörmungandr, my giant snake brother, is mightier and more imposing than any dragon could ever be.   
But they're not monsters! They're my beloved brothers! And it's not like they can't be human too!  
And I'm not a monster either! I'm not dead or alive! I'm Hel! Look at me from the right or make me particularly happy and you'll find that I can be fairer than Freyja!  
And as if that wasn't enough I had to welcome my half-brothers Nari and Narfi, who told me that you killed them and bound father with their entrails!  
They were innocent children! They were Aesir, two of you!  
Does your depravity know no bounds?  
And had my father not reason to kill Óðinn's beloved son?  
Was it not his right, after Óðinn tore us out of our parents' arms?  
And is Baldr not better off being with me than with you?  
He wasn't happy with you. You didn't give him what he needed. You didn't understand him like I do.  
He was your most precious light, now he is mine.  
He didn't want to go back and I didn't want him to go either.  
So I gave you an impossible task. But my father spoiled your meal again, didn't he? Hehe … you get it? He spoiled your meal and I eat from a table called hunger with a knife named famine? Hehe … meal jokes. They never get old.  
Anyway, since one creature refused to cry for Baldr, he stays here.  
And he will stay here until Ragnarök has passed. Then he will leave me again, as much as it hurts to think about it.  
But until then … I will enjoy his presence.  
Until then, he will be mine.  
He belongs to me.  
I love him.  
Surprised? Didn't you tell me that EVERYONE loves Baldr? Well, I'm no exception!  
And do you know what's the frosting on the cake?  
He loves me too!  
Now that's knocking you off the horses, huh? No offense, Sleipnir, hehe.  
But seriously. Even if you had succeeded, he would refuse to come back to you.  
He wouldn't go without his twin Hödr. By the way, Baldr angry at you guys for killing him.  
Höðr was one of you too, you know. But you don't care, do you? No, you only tried to ransom out Baldr, but not him. Seriously, dick move. (Baldr thinks so too)  
And then there is Nanna. She's pissed at you too, also for killing Höðr. At first we hated each other, but now we're gal pals.  
Höðr himself? Oh, I assure you, he's fine. he doesn't mind my relationship with his brother, in fact he supports it (you know, because he is awesome).  
See? They're much happier with me than with you!  
Hah!  
What does that tell you?  
If I was the monster you take me for, would they happier with me than with you?  
No!  
It's you who are the monsters! You mistreated my family, bound my older brothers, killed my younger ones, killed my mother and torture my father.  
You think I'm a monster, because you're a bunch of cowards.  
You were afraid of my power, weren't you? Were my father and my stepmother Sigyn the only ones who weren't?  
Ah, Sigyn. Yelled a lot and liked to punch dad, but she thought that WE were cute. She was one of a kind and a wonderful stepmother.  
I remember that one time she managed to come down to the underworld, only to ask me for a curl of my hair, just to cheer dad up. That was so sweet of her.  
I miss her, just like I miss the rest of my family. But at least I have my little brothers with me.  
But after Ragnarök, I will have them again.  
When they're all dead, I will give them a home.   
And we will be happy and together forever.  
Except that Baldr and Höðr will be gone. It hurts to think about it. But perhaps they will come to visit little ol' me.  
But it's long until then.  
And when the end of the age comes, I will lend my troops to father. I won't be there myself, I'll be too busy ruling Helheimr and Niflheimr.   
Besides, I have to receive you all when you die.  
See you then, you worthless, hypocritical bastards.

** Nari and Narfi: **

We just don't know what went wrong.  
Our family was so happy.  
Mum was always there and loved us.  
Dad wasn't, but when he was, he spoiled us and told us cool stories.  
When we were really small, our big half-siblings came to live with us for a while. Mum spoiled them.  
They were weird, but it was fun to play with them, especially Fenrir. His fur was fluffy and he always let us ride on his back.  
And suddenly they were gone and no one told us where to.  
But dad was so sad afterwards. He cried almost every night.  
Then mum gave him a present and he got a bit better.  
The other Aesir seemed to like us.  
Our uncles Baldr and Höðr always taught us cool stuff, just like dad always did. And uncle Þórr played with us and gave us piggy-bag rides.  
And suddenly uncle Baldr and auntie Nanna were dead.  
Then, a year later, uncle Höðr was dead too. They said that it was him who killed uncle Baldr. But that's impossible! He loved him so much!  
A few decades after that, they arrested dad.  
Then they dragged us out of mum's arms and took us to a far away place.  
It was only then that we learned that it had actually been dad who had killed Baldr.  
And then Óðinn said something like 'An eye for an eye' and turned Nari into a wolf.  
It hurt, being transformed into a wolf. Suddenly I saw Narfi and forgot that he was my brother. A few minutes later, I stood over his intestines and dad was screaming and I suddenly realised what had happened. But before I could grief, Óðinn pierced me with his spear. The last thing I saw was how they bound dad with Narfi's guts, then I died.  
We found ourselves in Helheimr and in front of Hel's throne.  
We had never really seen our older sister, even in Asgard, because she had always hidden away.  
Now that we saw her, first she was a bit scary with her half-dead face. But she is so nice to us. Actually, she's the best big sis ever. She is so badass and lets us live in her palace, we can do whatever we want and she plays with us, when she has the time.  
Uncle Baldr and uncle Höðr are there too. They always have time for us and keep teaching us awesome stuff. Hel does so too, but she is very busy ruling the underworld. They all know a lot and Hel knows so cool magic, just like dad.  
And then there is our … uh, other mother? Angrboða. She is the mum of our older siblings minus Sleipnir, a powerful Jötunn witch and very nice, but also very scary. She's even smarter than Óðinn, at least we think so. She knows everything. Hel too. Maybe she got that from her.  
But we miss mum and dad so much.  
But that's okay, because Hel says that we will have them back eventually and Hel never lies.

** Sleipnir: **

Sometimes I wish I had never been born.  
Sometimes I curse the family I've been born into.  
Sometimes I regret that I can't just be a normal stallion. Hehe, nope. I'm a magical, talking horse with eight legs. Also, my mother is a shapeshifting trickster whose blood-brother is my master. Oh, and I have three monster siblings and two younger human siblings. Don't worry, I can turn into a human too. Woohoo. Joy, joy.  
I only met my siblings when they were taken from Jötunheimr and stayed in Asgard for a while. It was actually them who taught me to transform into a human shape. I'm a grey horse with a dark grey mane and my mother's green eyes. When I turn human, my skin is pale, my hair is still dark grey and my eyes still green, but for some reason I have … freckles? Must have gotten that from mother too. Oh, and my mother is actually a guy. At least everyone thinks so. I'm not so certain, I mean he's a fire giant and a shapeshifter, perhaps he's genderfluid or something like that.  
Anyway, my older half-siblings soon were taken away and suffered fates they didn't deserve, just because the Aesir didn't like the way they looked. Dick move. Mother was so distressed. No. Distressed isn't the right word, more like mad with grief. He was in a dazed state for months. It was so scary and I was only a foal back then.  
Mother recovered afterwards, but I could practically smell the hatred boil inside him, the evil schemes he was plotting. He was never one to think logically.  
Oh mother, my dear poor mother, you're such a fool.  
You wanted to avenge Angrboða's children and murdered Baldr, the most beloved of the Aesir. Then you sabotaged his return. And _then_ you rubbed it into their faces.  
Now you're chained to not only one but THREE rocks with the guts of Narfi, my little half-brother.  
Everyone in my family is gone and I alone am still here, serving Óðinn.  
I miss you so, my dear mother.  
And I miss you too, my siblings, even these of you whom I hardly knew.  
I will see you at Ragnarök, my dear family.  
And we will be together in Helheimr.  
At least I hope so.  
I don't know, if I'll die at Ragnarök, but I hope that I will.  
I just want to be with you again.  
I miss you.


End file.
